Victoria's Secret is Ralph Goodale's Wink

I have a problem. A secret that frankly isn’t very “en vogue” these days. I like girls. There, I said it. I know there is no cachet to being "hetero" these days, but I still particularly enjoy the kind who, in between PETA protest gigs, roll down the runway wearing what can only be described as a cross between gossamer, dental floss and sunlight.

So it was with some enthusiasm last night that I was able to watch the Victoria’s Secret “orgy of clothing that your wife will never own” with the full blessing of Tiny Small. These promoters aren’t dummies, toss in a little Seal and you can at least claim you're watching it for the asthetic cool that he provides rather than full bore oggling.

As the prancing carried on I kind of grew bored of the runway beauties, as it appeared the same outfit rolled out one after another, until the blur of pink and satin became to much for my eyes to individually distinguish. But then it happened. The “all candy” lingerie on the ever beautiful Alessandra Ambrosio. It was a stunner, she couldn’t have looked better wearing nothing but a confectioners wet dream, yet, it was a just a tease I kept thinking. “She’ll never be able to wear that anywhere, it’s kinda pointless”. Clearly I was cranky and needed to sleep.

Of course, drifting off to the nightly news put some strange thoughts in my mind for dreamtime, and thus melded the world of Victoria’s Secret, and federal Liberals. Having no time of Jungian analysis this morning, I tried to piece together why my brain had betrayed me so on a more simplistic level. This is what I figured...

Liberal polices are designed to look good to the eye, and distract you with the jiggle of big numbers. Ralph Goodale will even shoot you a wink as he writes the cheque to your province/group/association/service club/dog/houseplant but like a runway model, he turns and vamps away, needing to reload backstage for another lucky trip down the lane for somebody.

With a front row seat at this show is Ontario. Sure, the Liberals are spending their way to the top and ignoring the Province at the same time, but it’s that wink Ontarians can’t get out of their head. The see it with Quebec sitting next to them, and keep hoping the next time it will be for them…but it never comes. Ontario is merely a hopefull wannabe in the Supermodel sweepstakes; the “great guy” Liberals know are "there" for them even after ignoring them repeatedly in favour of the sexier Quebec.

Ontario is a sucker. A province that is willing to buy the Grits wine and roses, show them a good time, nay, even go “all the way” with them but at the end of the date they get a kisson the cheek and hear the familiar refrain of "I'll call you". If this was my buddy I know what I'd say to him. “Grow up, get over her and move on. There are better women out there than her. Don’t you know she’s a whore?”

GL