Hello....Is It Divorce You're Looking For?
I don’t know how anyone else feels but I am now in for another sleepless night after hearing that Nicole Ritchie has broken off her engagement. Gimmie the freakin’ Paxil, I just don’t know how I can go on. I’ve been crying all day, devastated because on top of that it seems Britney and K. Fed (no shit, grownups actually refer to him as that) might be packing it in since he’s dedicated himself to fatherhood by attending every party this side of Carmen Electra’s mammaries. Maybe he’s just happy about being a daddy!
More than likely though, this is just the cycle that is reaching it’s natural conclusion after it seemed everyone on the Hilton family tree (party division), the aforementioned daughter of Lionel (Hello….is it divorce you’re looking for?), Rod Stewarts kid (he’s just British, not gay!) were getting engaged lo those 3, 6, 9 months ago. God knows how this has affected the marriage rate of ditzy blondes in the general population. I hope the world's Idots in Waiting were watching Pat O'Brien when the axe started to fall on all this happiness. Perhaps they’ll use Nick and Jessica as a model of what a “long term” marriage is all about. It was a good run while it lasted…
I think the real victim here is Christina Applegate and her husband, the lead singer guy that was a bit of a prick in That Thing You Do. That Ritchie breakup knocked their untimely demise clear off the E! homepage and back into south central nowhere. Sadly, noting here that my youth is in the toilet bowl, it also blew out Eddie Van Halen and Valerie Bertinelli who at one time made Nicole and DJ Sunday Bruch or whatever his name is look like…like….Christina Applegate and the lead singer guy that was a bit of a prick in That Thing You Do. This calls for an original line up Van Halen reunion!
God help us when the Red Bull & Jagermeister wears off and all these whacky kids decide they really do love each other and should have lots and lots of babies right away! The last thing I want to see is the Simple Life 9, with Nicole Ritchie giving birth and Paris as her midwife. "Oops! I broke you baby!"
GL
More than likely though, this is just the cycle that is reaching it’s natural conclusion after it seemed everyone on the Hilton family tree (party division), the aforementioned daughter of Lionel (Hello….is it divorce you’re looking for?), Rod Stewarts kid (he’s just British, not gay!) were getting engaged lo those 3, 6, 9 months ago. God knows how this has affected the marriage rate of ditzy blondes in the general population. I hope the world's Idots in Waiting were watching Pat O'Brien when the axe started to fall on all this happiness. Perhaps they’ll use Nick and Jessica as a model of what a “long term” marriage is all about. It was a good run while it lasted…
I think the real victim here is Christina Applegate and her husband, the lead singer guy that was a bit of a prick in That Thing You Do. That Ritchie breakup knocked their untimely demise clear off the E! homepage and back into south central nowhere. Sadly, noting here that my youth is in the toilet bowl, it also blew out Eddie Van Halen and Valerie Bertinelli who at one time made Nicole and DJ Sunday Bruch or whatever his name is look like…like….Christina Applegate and the lead singer guy that was a bit of a prick in That Thing You Do. This calls for an original line up Van Halen reunion!
God help us when the Red Bull & Jagermeister wears off and all these whacky kids decide they really do love each other and should have lots and lots of babies right away! The last thing I want to see is the Simple Life 9, with Nicole Ritchie giving birth and Paris as her midwife. "Oops! I broke you baby!"
GL
posted by Graydon Smith @ 3:50 p.m.
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